Comedians are dying and there’s nothing I’ve done about it…


In my time, its happened to people I’ve met…and to many that I haven’t met.  Sadly I’ve said it before…and unfortunately I’m reminded to say it again:

“COMICS PLEASE STOP HURTING YOURSELVES.  Always reach out just one more time if you’re at the tipping point.

In the most depressing of times…it was y’all that brought light to my darkest thoughts.  Laughter was indeed the best medicine.   You delivered a message from above and a reason to go on.  I’ve experienced some horrible things.  I’ve had people and freedoms taken from me.  I’ve been accused of heinous things.  I’ve thought of the worst.  I’ve hated and feared everything around me…everything but laughing because of your jokes.

During my lowest, darkest, coldest and heaviest times…I could listen to your comedy or watch one of your movies and forget the world for a little while.  Laughing lifted me just high enough to get out of that dark place for just a little bit longer.  Long enough to breathe again, long enough to remember the joys in life.

It hurts to know that you were unknowingly there for me so fuckin’ many times and that I could not return the favor even once.  Whether it was your stand up, your movie, your writing, your timing, your smile, your laugh, your personality or your undeniable method of relating to the rest of us…you were there.” – Espudo


For those of you who know me personally, you know how much I LOVE stand up comedy.  You know how often I attend shows and how ridiculously loud I laugh during movies.  You know that I appreciate comedy more than most.

I fear that it’s not the last time I will lose laughter.  Addiction & depression are a tough combination.  I feel it and I know it well.  John Belushi, Chris Farley, Mitch Hedberg, Greg Giraldo and recently Robin Williams.  There are simply too many to list.  Ironically these people brought great joy to millions and died because in one way or another were sad and struggling.  They were battling the unseen and were too afraid or simply to tired to carry on.

Comedians, you are a blessing to us.   There’s no reason to go through whatever it is you’re going through alone.  There is always someone who wants to listen.

If you’re sad, depressed or confused, I’ll take your call any time of the day.  You can find my personal cell on my website. If you need a place to retreat, my door is open to you.  Please don’t leave us, let one of us be there for you.  Let one of us return the favor you’ve shown us so many times before.

If you’re thinking of ending your life PLEASE REMEMBER there are organizations that exist specifically for times like this.  The number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK if you want to talk to a person who is trained in suicide prevention.  They have 24/7 support.

You are loved and appreciated, even if you don’t feel it right now. – P.D. “Pino” Espudo