Justin Bieber Wants To Collab On An Album With Me???!!!

At home in the Maple-Ash neighborhood.  I like it here.  So many beautiful college girls walking and riding by on their bikes.  Lots of green trees, grass and there’s always a cool vibe in the air.   If you’ve been in the hood before you know it’s a very chill area.  Chill until you get to my corner where there is usually a 7.2 (yes multiple subwoofers) Bose system powered by an Onkyo receiver blaring the shit out of whatever I’m in the mood for that day.


To get to the story,  my lazy dog lifts his head off the arm of the couch.  (During the day I move the couch close to the door so he can lay his head on the arm and look out the screen…he seems to like that.)  Dude begins to growl and bark in an intimidating way.  It’s not his “I hate that stupid UPS truck” growl…it’s something much more intimidating.


Not happy about being bothered, I shift out of my shitty work chair and walk to the door…to find a person with a jacket vest, jeans, shaggy hair, and sunglasses sipping out of an orange juice bottle.


With luggage in tow, this person walks up even closer to my door when they see me in the doorway.   I speak in my deepest don’t fuck with me voice, “Can I help you?”….


In a he/she voice (can’t really tell) the person says, “Yo, my name is Justin.  You like music?  I hear your music playing and I really like it.  I think we should collaborate some time.  You down?”


I reply, “Well Justin…” – HE-SHE INTERRUPTS, “Justin Bieber…” – nodding up and down as to say “What’s up?!?!” while bringing the sunglasses just below the eyes to the bridge of the nose so we can connect deeply and visually without tinted interruption.


I continue, “Well Justin Bieber, the music you’re hearing behind me is actually a band named AC/DC…that’s not me playing.  I gotta go back to work, have a nice day.”


“Wait, do you know them?  You see, I’m also a music producer and I think I can help them out.  As a matter of fact…” —- BLEEP BLOOP ROOOOOOOOOO!  —- Tempe Police roll up and smile at me.  I wanted to tell them I was going to handle it…but I had work to do.


There goes my music career…and too bad for that band AC/DC, I guess they’ll never make it now.


Just to be sure I get my photography rep up, with a famous person in my portfolio…I quickly grabbed my trusty Olympus E5 and snapped a photo of the famous pop star on my walkway getting arrested.  Apparently Justin Bieber was prowling the neighborhood looking for unlocked doors or something and someone had already called the police.


True event for entertainment purposes only in February of 2016.