• Over 15 years of experience in Adobe Photoshop.  Specializing in original artwork and complex photo manipulation.

    Very interested in parody style and other comedic artwork.

    Can give you bigger boobs (you really don’t need bigger boobs, you’re perfect just the way you are!!!…like seriously, don’t get fake boobs) or a third arm, I can even make your pizza face look smooth and clear.  Whatever you want is possible with Adobe Photoshop!

  • Over 10 years of experience in Adobe Illustrator.  Specializing in original artwork, like logos and caricature illustrations.

    Very interested in parody style and other comedic artwork.  Logos, layouts, cartoons, etc.

    Illustrator is most commonly used to create original VECTOR artwork and if you’re looking for a logo…this is the service you’ll need.

  • Over 15 years of experience of event and nightlife photography.

    Ranging from backyard weddings to corporate conferences.  Have been hired to travel from as far west as Honolulu, Hawaii to as far east as Arlington, Virginia to photograph events.

    I’ve a very IN THE MIX style.  I’m on the dance floor catching every single move one moment and the next moment I’m eating some cake and chatting it up with your Grandma.  Very candid-lifestyle form of coverage. 

    If you trip and fall, I’m not gonna catch you but I’ll catch the photo of you falling.  Not stopping for anything!  I capture what happens…not just people hugging and smiling at my lense like a bunch of brainwashed social media zombies.

  • Hollywood here I come…because you assholes need new ideas.  

    You need a new idea…for just about anything?  Espudo is your savior.

    Nothing like a twisted and untamed mind.  Raw and without borders, Espudo has seen things you can’t imagine, has been through things you can’t fathom, has been sober when others weren’t and then again has done more drugs that you’ve drank water…he’s a creative explosion waiting to happen.  Pants explosion!!!

    Having him around will lead to something more detailed and creative, pinky swear.